hell yes lets make some ravioli
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Randomize
