office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
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