hell yes lets make some ravioli
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
