i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
