my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
the liver wants what the liver wants
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
Randomize
