Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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