i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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