i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
