He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
4 words: hood of his car
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
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