I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize