How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Randomize
