My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
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