i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
I'm having to shit out rocks
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