I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Randomize
