Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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