On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
She bit a glass in half.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
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