Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
