i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
Randomize
