im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
