i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Randomize
