Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Randomize