what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
i think i have herpe
just one?
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
