shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
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