I am spending my child support on dildos
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
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