Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
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