It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
