Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Randomize