also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
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