But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
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