he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
i just sent this text using only my big toe
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Randomize
