no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
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