I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize