Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Randomize
