i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
