i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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