This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
Randomize
