pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Randomize
