I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize
