That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Randomize
