I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
