I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize
