I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
I have already put on my inside pants.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
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