winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
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