dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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