i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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