this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
