My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
