he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
You have to summon your inner elephant
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
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