Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
Need sex. Gaining weight.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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