i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Randomize
