Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Randomize
