so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
Randomize