Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
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