Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
Sober January is a disaster.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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