Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
