Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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