I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
Randomize
