What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
I'm having to shit out rocks
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