After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
