did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Randomize
